Ugly village contest

Bulletins from a French butcher's shop

Montréal-la-Cluse (photo by me; all others below public domain)

We had some of our neighbours around for dinner the other night, and one of them mentioned something I hadn’t known. Our village takes its name from the steep hill behind us that formerly housed a fortified château. It turns out that our ancestors were not alone in naming their home Montréal (royal mountain).

What I should have realised is that France has lots of royal mountains, many with princely ruins on top. There are six villages bearing the name Montréal in France (there’s a seventh in Germany, which is treated as an honorary French village for reasons I’ll come to shortly).

There was something else I learned at dinner: “Our Montréal is the ugliest,” said Jean-Pierre. Naturally I was intrigued. Our village is not without appeal, but I’d certainly agree it’s up against stiff opposition in the Most Beautiful Villages in France rankings. The only British tourists I’ve ever seen drive past our house in Montréal-la-Cluse were re-routed by their GPS after the Paris-Geneva autoroute was blocked. Tourists only tend to arrive here by accident.

So where are these other Montréals? What do they have that we don’t?

As luck would have it, my researches started with the Montréal in Gascony - a bastide, or walled village, founded in 1255. Montréal-du-Gers (pop: c 1,200) is built around a large church on a hill about 50 miles northwest of Toulouse. Its nearest neighbour of note is the eternally gigglesome town of Condom.

Montréal-du-Gers, Gascony

Tragically, there’s no disputing that we’re a lot uglier than the Gascon Montréal. M-du-G is officially designated one of Les Plus Beaux Villages de France – a widely-followed rating by an independent association that awards sought-after badges to lucky winners, generating guaranteed tourist hordes. M-du-G’s ancient walls, timbered arcades and shaded squares are rather more alluring, tourist-wise, than the broken fountain, part-time church and renovated butcher’s shop in Montréal-la-Cluse.

Further south and a little closer to the Pyrenees lies the Montréal of the Aude département. Another big church sits on a hill picturesquely surrounded by red tile roofs. In 1355, the village and its chateau were burned down by the army of the Black Prince, son of England’s King Edward III (who also sacked Carcassonne and ravaged Narbonne). In ensuing centuries it recovered to become France’s biggest Montréal (pop: 2,000). Today it also boasts an excellent Brazilian restaurant.

Montréal, Aude

Next up is Montréal-en-Bourgogne, arguably the best-positioned of our clan and undeniably charming. It sits in the heart of Burgundy, not far from Chablis and close to Epoisses, home of the celebrated soft cheese. Its population was only 177 at the last count, suggesting that a diet of Chablis and cheese may not be entirely good for you.

Montréal-en-Bourgogne

Further south we’ve got another Montréal, west of Montelimar in the Ardèche (pop 550; village around ancient chateau on hill); and the most rustic village of all, Montréal-les-Sources in the rocky wastes of the Drôme (pop 22 – I don’t think that’s a misprint). M-Ardèche looks special, but photos suggest that M-Drôme is becoming a genuine contender for our ugliest crown.

Montréal, Ardèche

Montréal-les-Sources, Drôme

Being French, the mayors of these Montréal villages got together and formed L’Association de Montréals en France. Delegates meet at one of the villages each year to discuss I have no idea what (but I’m volunteering as a delegate next time they’re in Burgundy).

Also being French, the mayors decided to ignore geography and invite a German Montréal to join in, even though the Germans in question named their village Monreal not Montréal - after, you guessed it, a hill with a ruined castle on top. The German Monreal, in the lower Eifel mountains 20 miles west of Koblenz, traces its roots to 1193 and may have been named Monreal because the German name meaning royal mountain – Königsberg – had already been taken by the Prussian metropolis on the Baltic.

Monreal, Eifel

Another reason Monreal may have been invited is that it has twice been named the most beautiful village of the Rhineland Palatinate, which frankly makes those of us who live in the ugliest Montréal feel even more inadequate.

You may wonder why I haven’t mentioned the arguably slightly better-known Montreal, a city of several million Canadians. That’s because Montreal (Quebec division) wasn’t founded until 1642 and there’s no place in our historical association for copycat parvenus. It also seems to be even uglier than Montréal-la-Cluse:

Montreal, Canada